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Life begins today

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On my tenth birthday, I decided that I wanted to die before the age of forty. Yeah I was a strange little girl, I drew a tomb with my name on it and ravens flying over it. My mother was not amused when she found the drawing. At that time, forty seemed so far away, so unimaginable. Everywhere I looked around, there were unhappy 40 years old people. Adults seemed so unhappy. I felt unhappy enough as a ten years old, why would I want another 30 years stretch of unhappiness?

But what did a ten years old girl know anyway about being forty?Even those forty years olds don’t know anything about it, nobody knows. So it goes that I continue living those 30 years and finally arrived at the point today. Sometimes it feels like yesterday, but I celebrated my 30th birthday with a bunch of people and lots of stuff. Everyone got wasted at the end of the night.

This morning, my husband quietly entered the room with a humble-looking cake and three candles on it. Sidra gave me a fluffy pillow and blanket that he bought with my husband a few days ago. I guess he noticed that I get cold easily.

It was just the three of us, sleepy in the morning, murmuring happy birthday and then continue with the usual breakfast before getting ready for school and office. I was a thousand times happier this morning than ten years ago.

People say that life begins at forty. But forty is just a number of years that we had spent living, of course life has begun 40 years ago. Maybe people just need something to hold onto when things feel so unbearable. I’m glad that I survived those 30 years since my tenth birthday. Whatever that had happened since that time doesn’t matter anymore now. I’m just happy that I’m here.

60 Responses to Life begins today

  4. Ah, yes, we share another birthday! I remember how happy you made me last year when I won your beautiful wallet! I still use and treasure it! I was 29 when you were born, so I can say that you are still just a kid, and you’ll enjoy a lot more birthdays before you get to my age! I hope all your birthday wishes came true, Novita!

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  5. Happy birthday! You look like you’re still in your 20s, and I mean that as a compliment. You look and sound so young, vibrant, and above all else, happy!!

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  9. happy birthday, novita! what you wrote really cheered me up, i’ve been feeling down lately. i’m really glad you’re happier now :)

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  10. Wish you such a sweet happy birthday!! :) I am 24, and recently learned that we only get HAPPIER as we get OLDER! So, onto older, happier times! :)

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  14. That’s beautiful! Happy birthday. I read a quote from Alain de Botton yesterday: “however sad death is, it would take a hardy adult to accept an offer magically to return to seven and start over”. So true. I might not be thrilled about getting older (41 now) but honestly, I can’t remember a time in my life when I was happier.

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    • That is an awesome quote! How right it is. Sometimes we despise getting older but this is where we are. Starting over wouldn’t make anything better :)

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  23. Happy Birthday, dear Novita! Feliz cumpleaños!!!
    Do you know what? I love to see and read you sooo happy! As you well said, the past doesn’t matter anymore, but it is through that past that you reach what you are and what you have today… You are a brave woman and you deserve to be HAPPY!!! I bet that your husband and your son work everyday to make you feel loved and blissfully happy!… Oh! and don’t forget that you shared that happiness with all of us, so you make our days also happier!!!
    Many kisses, girl!

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