Still no new sewing projects. I’m so sorry, these last few days have been so cold I stay in the living room most of the time, curling in the couch like a spoiled cat.
But here’s an ‘Honest Scrap Award’ that Trudy from ‘Sewing with Trudy’ has awarded me recently. Thank you, Trudy! Sorry for taking so long to reply!
The rules for this award are pretty simple:
- Thank the person who awarded the prize, mention their blog and give the link.
- Share ‘Ten Honest Things’ about yourself.
- Present this award to seven others whose blogs you find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged you.
- Tell those seven people they’ve been awarded the Honest Scrap award and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.
Now for my honest stuff. I’m going to share some things that I’ve never mentioned before in this blog. Are you ready? Really? Are you sure? Err… here we go:
One: I have scoliosis, a medical condition in which a person’s spine is curved from side to side. It makes my hip and shoulder uneven, one side is higher than the other. That’s why I love wearing dresses that doesn’t accentuate my waist and hip area. It’s actually pretty obvious when I stand straight, but I’ve learned to walk and stand in a way so people haven’t really noticed it (or so I thought).
Because of the condition, I had to wear rigid body brace in my teenage year to prevent it from getting worse during my growing year. I was already an unhappy and depressed kid in the first place, so the brace only made it worse by making me feel different and weird.
Another effect of my curved spine is back pain. I have this spot on the right side of my back that is forever in pain, sometimes it feels numb. But as it’s always there, I’ve got pretty used to it.
(picture source: Wikipedia )
Two: Maybe because I’ve already got used to feeling pain, I used to cut myself or bang my head on the wall when upset. Well, that’s not really a good reason actually. Anyway, I have at least one suicide attempt. It was pretty lame and I failed terribly (err, obviously). This is a vector drawing that I made during those darker era. Pretty emo, eh?
Three: This is a picture of me in school days. Isn’t she look sad? It was not a happy time, I was confused and really depressed. I thought I was ugly. I wore thick eyeglasses and my body was wrapped in that rigid body brace that no other kids had ever seen. I also had wire teeth braces on upper and lower teeth (not popular at that time) and had to wear orthodontic headgear at home. Click here if you want to see the thing I’m talking about. And why do those people look so happy in the pictures?
Sometimes I still feel ugly, then I look at my pictures and think that I’m not so ugly. That is why I love taking a lot pictures of myself to remind me. In reality I’m still very quiet and preferred to be alone.
Four: I tend to write a lot when I’m upset, and make stuff when I’m happy. Writing is such a quiet activity. I stay in one corner and everything is happening in my own head. It’s only me and my thoughts. I look only into myself.
But when making stuff like sewing, I have to be all over the place. I’m on my knees on the floor making patterns and cutting fabrics. Then I go to the sewing room, attaching all those pieces. Sometimes they hide under my seat or behind the desk as if they’re playing with me. I’m sitting there surrounded by fabrics, buttons, and trimmings. I look out from myself.
Five: Once upon a time in 2004, I published a novel. Referring to point no.4, you can imagine how unhappy I was at the time. The book got some mixed reviews, it was considered honest, depressing, and pathetic at the same time.
I had a very personal reason for publishing the book, and since it has been accomplished, I have no intention of publishing another novel.
Here’s a picture of the launching event. The pretty lady in black is quite a famous writer in Indonesia. I look so small! (Well, I am small)
Six: Sidra was an unplanned child. I had never wanted to have a child of my own since I didn’t want to raise a kid as depressed and unhappy as I was. But he suddenly came into my life and changed everything. He was such a happy baby, smiling and laughing all the time. I was very, very depressed, a case of untreated post-partum depression, but he was just there, always smiling and laughing and talking to me, snapping me back to reality.
When he got a little bigger, he learned to wipe my tears when I was upset. He’s my little hero.
Seven: Sidra is my husband’s stepson. They first met in July 2007. This is a picture of their first meeting.
Eight: My weight has stayed the same since highschool, that is 38 kg. I weighed 48 kg when I was 9 month pregnant. This picture was taken in January, 2008, when my weight was dangerously 36 kg.
Nine: I’m an atheist.
Ten: This is no secret but a very honest thing. I’m happy now and insanely in love with my husband. He’s another hero of my life, maybe I will write about him sometime ^.^
That’s ten! Now, it’s so hard choosing ONLY seven person to nominate! There are so many wonderful person out there! But I finally can make a list of seven here:
- Vivat Veritas
- Little Sweet Hearts
- Oonaballoona
- Kiraph
- ~Ruffles And Stuff~
- TangerineSamurai
- Meet me at Mike’s
Thank you for reading! It was kinda hard but also fun! (^.^)d
Such a nice post you wrote. You are not ugly..You are a very beautiful woman and have a handsome son. That is really neat that he got to do these photo shoots.
I too have scoliosis and others can notice or I’m sure they can when I wear certain shirts, as one shoulder is higer than the other. I used to have so much back pain it was horrific, but not too much anymore thank goodness. I enjoyed your blog and will return. Bless you and your family
.-= lee´s last blog ..What Men Want for Valentines Day =-.
Novita, setelah membaca cerita kamu …. menurut aku, kamu tuh beruntung bangeeet, kau tuh inspirasi aku bangeeet … iya mungkin dulu kamu pernah mengalami depresi dan kesedihan yang amat sangat .. tapi sekarang setelah melalui masa yang berdarah-darah itu .. kamu tetap kuat menjalani hidup .. standing tall dan sekarang kamu mendapatkan hidup yang menyenangkan, anak yang menyenangkan dan lucu, suami yang baik dan mencintai kamu … hidup tenang dan damai di Jepang (aku pengen banget lho tinggal di Jepang ) … wah pokoknya kamu beruntung banget deh …
so .. tetap semangat, tetap kreatif,tetap berkarya, tetep bikin yang lucu-lucu … dan tetap menjadi inspirasi aku …. ^.^
You are fantastic. You’re talented, beautiful, and I hope you know it now. I have depression as well, and know what you have felt.
I’m so jealous of your abilities. I love your clothing and you look so great in everything. So does your wonderful family!.
Keep up the great work and I will stay tuned.
Your big fan, Tamara
I just wanted to say that you’re really beautiful! I know most of us don’t feel that way thru our teenage years, but honestly, looking at your pix, I think you’re a real beauty!
Have you tried osteopathy for the scoliosis?
It helped me, though mine wasn’t as pronounced.
And E.F.T. can also help with pain and emotional trauma.
You know you are a very talented and gifted person.
I came over to your blog via TangerineSamurai and this honestthingthing – and what I have to read nearly brought me to tears!!! I feeeeel soooo sorry for you and sooo happy in the same moment, as it seems after all that torture finally it turned to a good end!
I had a bit an equal experience in my youth (teeth braces at a time, when no one wears them), not really that appealing look that other teengirls had….so I was THAT strange girl in the class as well – and kids can be sooo rude…thank you for being so brave to share that with us – blogs sometimes tend to be soooo happy all the time.
kindest regards from Austria, Europe
Awww you're welcome Nikki!
You've read the book? Oh no, I'm so embarassed! The book has done its duty and it's a part of my old life now ^.^
That's too nice of you for comparing me with Nani Iro, oh but they're waaay above me. I adore all their designs and fabrics!
Thank you for sharing, it's good to get to know you better. I think you are so beautiful, and it's good to know you are happy now.
I'd love to read about how you met your husband some time. The wedding photo is so lovely!
Thank you, Chie. Yes that's a wedding picture, next month it'll be 2 years ^.^
Thank you for reading, and also for leaving such sweet comments!
Glad that I can share my little life with all of you *^.^*
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I would have never thought you had had such a sad time by looking at how peaceful and gorgeous you always look in your photos. Congratulations on getting to a happy place even though you went through such a rough time to get there.
Thank you for sharing so honestly. I would have never thought you had had such a sad time by looking at how peaceful and gorgeous you always look in your photos. Congratulations on getting to a happy place even though you went through such a rough time to get there.
Thank you for sharing this. Very inspiring. You really can't judge a book by it's cover.
kamu cantik la, novita.. cheers
Whoa, I have scoliosis and had to wear a back brace in high school. I also had to wear head gear and glasses! It *was* awful. It still makes me shudder. But today you are beautiful and radiant and your son is adorable. Your creativity is inspiring. :o)
Whoa. I had scoliosis, a back brace, braces on my teeth and glasses in high school too. It was awful! But today you are very beautiful and your son is adorable. I'm a longtime reader of your blog and first-time commenter. Your creativity is inspiring. I wish I could afford one of your dresses.
I got your book from interlibrary loan a couple months ago, once I realized it was by the same person as my favorite blogger! I wish I could understand all of it- any chance you might translate it to English?
Your photos and style are amazing and I am sure you will go far. You should write a book with instructions for all of your self-made patterns and dresses. They are on par with Nani Iro designs, in my opinion and I love, love, love your use of Indonesian batiks with Japanese patterns.
You moved me, by writing it all down. I read quite a lot of sewing blogs and sometimes it's like everyone is happy and there's no black cloud in the sky. And of course I know that's not true for any of us, but maybe that's the way we like to present ourselves. It's so good to hear about struggles. It gives us a human face. And by writing this I of course wish you the best of times. I so hope to see more sewing because I now know it reflects your mood.
Novita, you are one inspirational woman!! You are beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. Thanks for sharing your truths.
xxx
you never want to hear that someone else had a rough childhood but to know that you're not alone is such a powerful feeling. i have scoliosis as well. wore a brace for more years than i can remember. i had a spinal fusion when i was 18 although a painful surgery, still one of my best decisions. i too wore braces and headgear, not to mention i was extremely underweight. i honestly felt like such an ugly duckling especially when standing next to my beautiful and popular sister. it took years to break through the stigma i put on myself, but today i stand admiringly in front of the mirror of who i've become.
be proud of who you are. you are an inspiration. if not to anyone else, at least to me!
I was missing your postings since your last one about your trip to Suwako with your family. Then this last post took me by surprise, and I love the way you've expressed the changes in your life, very bravely and honestly. I can relate the 'Honest Scrap Award' you won with the posting itself! What a perfect timing indeed…!
Congratulations for arriving to a phase in your life when you feel happy, talented, beautiful, and fulfilled. You are all that now, Novita! Sometimes we go through ugly things in our lives, so we can savour our triumphs with more taste and passion, right?
I went through tough times when I was a teenager as well, and I was even diagnosed with scoliosis when I was starting my adolescence, which still gives me an unbalanced hip and consequently pain in by lower back.
But on the other hand I feel immensely happy when I can connect with my creative self being a knitter, a handspinner, and starting my sewing a few months ago.
I hope and wish you and all your readers a lot of Happiness, Love, Peace and exciting projects for 2010!
Cheers from Toronto
FibreJoy
Thank you for sharing those secrets about yourself. I think you are a beautiful talented person. I found your blog on burdastyle about a year ago and have been hooked ever since! I am happy to hear you have found the happiness and love you deserve. Not only around you but also within.
<3
Jessica
avocadosmile.blogspot.com
Hi Novita, yr recent post had me riveted and just blew me away! THANK YOU from my heart for sharing all that u are with all of us. U have inspired many with yr talents and by simply being you. Bless u dear!
Lots of Love from Malaysia,
Anita
Thank you, I loved hearing your honesty and applaud your success in life, being able to learn to grow and change and love. I relate to your feelings on sewing and writing, and turning inward and out, and the need for them at the right times. Both are beautiful processes. You describe yourself beautifully, so thank you.